Post-It Note - Exorcising Ego

Students,

A lot is changing in the life of Teacher just now. You may note that I am trying to find peace in my feelings and experiences as opposed to trying to find meaning in thinking and analytical reflection. It is what Thais and/or Buddhists would call ‘Sati’ – to remain aware with skillful attentiveness. This change in me also necessitates a change in the format of my blog. From now on the only drama described will be the amateur theatre opportunities I hope to pursue with a group in Bangkok. The mental drama I can see I have been creating with my unfulfilled life situation has to go. I will still find it is there of course but I will observe my struggling mind with its doubts and problems and not let it become me, my identity. I aim to live free of control from my own worst enemy and all its negativity. I think this will greatly improve my interaction with others and the world I inhabit.

When I talk of mind I refer of course to Id / Ego / Superego. Freud was certainly ahead of his time but now I believe that rather than simply identifying the way we are, he was actually identifying a problem common in our behaviour as humans. I learned a lot reading Eckhart Tolle’s book The Power of Now. Even though his prose was occasionally overblown, the main theory that we as a species should relinquish control from our mind and accept what is if we are to find personal and collective happiness and balance is one that makes sense for me.

For the reasons detailed I am exorcising Ego from my life. I am guilty of saying things in conversation that bolster my image or score points. I think everyone does this to some extent because it is a symptom of a ‘dog-eat-dog’ society. It is not a useful practice because the satisfaction you get is fleeting and comes from a place of self-doubt and vulnerability. Upon recognizing this for what it is I have found it becomes very easy to speak freely, know that you could never be seen as ‘fake’ or ‘phony’, and also it is great to feel that you truly are at one and expressing your feelings.

The format of the blog will change so that the text is less ‘smart’ and, even though a lot of what you might call my ‘self-promotion’ is done in jest and for those who know me personally; I am going to be more open from now on and have less resistance to describing my feelings. I will cut back on the snark, observe, and accentuate the positives. Let’s call my 12 numbered blog posts a ‘12-step’ to recovery and acceptance and a farewell to the dirty mindedness of Id / Ego / Superego. Students, I hope you enjoy what is to come. I am feeling creative.

Comments? Questions? Class you may be excused.

Homework: Stay tuned in.

x Teacher

Post-It Note - Some words to accompany the job that you can stick up your arse

Students,

I would never endorse the action known as ‘selling out.’ If I wanted to do a job just for the money I can think of some much nobler pursuits to put my body and mind to work on than teaching. But lately the lure of more money has joined the lure of moving on, traveling somewhere new, and/or living in a more metropolitan locale as debating points of Id / Ego / Superego. Of course in most ways and for most of the time I am perfectly happy and settled where I am. I intend to change my job for next semester as the university has proven rather demanding of my time and reserves of patience, especially after what I would conservatively call a ‘challenging’ trip to Loei the other week (even though I did get to do some theatre directing amid my duller duties.) I could remain here in Lopburi and build on what I’ve got. Or I could take a chance and explore somewhere new. These are the types of questions that vex Teacher daily when without more intimate ways to pass the time, and in a bid to avoid the heat stroke. Life is tough y’all...

ANYWAY I applied for several jobs last week before ruling out most of them as impractical. But one job based in Bangkok made me begin to wonder. The salary was good, it sounded central so the sky train could be a travel possibility, it was a language school so I could teach the same students regularly, and the weekday hours began from mid-afternoon so the famed Bangkok nightlife could be appreciated (only on occasion of course.) And living in the city might be a break from the limitations found living in the (almost) countryside. Could this all be too good to be true? The short answer is yes. Before knowing this however I accepted the invitation to visit for interview…

At this point I must tell you that though in this blog I occasionally seem… narked (English: as irritating as celibacy) in polite company I am usually a joy and a delight. Never do I moan or complain; always I choose perfect politeness, diction, and chivalry to camouflage any fleeting annoyances. Well. Almost always. But the two things that threaten to send this picture of calm into meltdown are impoliteness and others being disrespectful. It is not because I consider myself better or more worthy of respect than others, but I seriously think it is a basic human right of all to enjoy being spoken to with thought and a following of proper social codes. When this (infrequently) does not happen for me (particularly when I am obeying the rules myself) is when I have to make sure that person is ‘told.’

I’m sad to say that this whole problem arose with the interviewer I had the displeasure of meeting in Bangkok – sorry Bangna – an area of the city that could at best be described as an industrial park miles from anywhere and at worst as a littered concrete jungle. That I had been required to wake up and travel at some ungodly time (with a hangover) possibly played into my perception of events, but really there was no excuse for the rudeness I encountered during questioning for a job I quickly discovered I had no interest in. Students you might see the following e-mail that I sent post-interview as a little ‘sharp’ and believe me that is the intention. Take this either as a warning or as a call to arms on the war against w*nkers who think they know better. They never do.

Comments? Questions? Class you may be excused.

Homework: Pick up your poison pen and get scribbling.

x Teacher

Garry,

Following my interview today I would like to withdraw from your consideration for a teaching post with English For All. I got the impression that I am not the type of teacher you are looking for anyway, but I must say I found your approach both presumptuous and rude. I would expect the type of pointed closed questioning you used in an interview for a job in recruitment or some other high-powered role, but for what I could see as a modest language school I just found it totally unnecessary.

Maybe being in the 'land of smiles' has made me forget that employers can be so unreasonable. I don't mean to be insulting but you no doubt saw how I very quickly lost all interest in putting myself across favourably or asking any questions. Believe me, I am a committed teacher - I consider teaching as my career and am keen to develop my skills. But I was a bit affronted when you insinuated that I had little experience - I would not call training in two English comprehensives, being the first foreigner to teach staff and students in a rural Thai middle school, or lecturing to EFL students in majors covering reading and writing structures, communicative English, and psychology as little experience. That is not to mention my commitment to evening classes in the local language school, leading workshops for tourist police, and managing extra-curricular drama classes.

I very much enjoy teaching work and am comfortable in what I do. I like to work hard and am rigorous in my planning and preparation. Unfortunately it seemed to me you were more concerned about picking holes in my experience than asking me questions about my teaching philosophy or classroom manner. I had a file of resources, lesson plans, and student work I would have been happy to show you if you had. I hope that you find the right candidate for the role, but I would seriously suggest you reconsider your managerial style.

P.

Post-It Note - My Bloody Valentines

Students,

It is a fact that I am not a fan of St. Valentines Day. I think it is utterly unnatural that for one day out of 365 much of the population believes it acceptable to forget all past crimes of the heart in exchange for a fluffy red teddy bear or some obscenely saccharine love note. Students, believe me when I tell you it actually is all just a ploy by the marketing industry to extort cash from every poor sap who wants to follow the crowd and prove to themselves and others that they are not unlucky in matters of the heart. Sounds far-fetched? Well unfortunately it's true.

I may also tell you that a quite nasty and infamous incident occured on February 14th 1929 and this is quite conveniently forgotten amid all the hearts and flowers. It involved the Capone gang of Chicago. In an effort to 'off' seven of his rivals in the North Side gang, Al arranged for them to rendezvous at a local garage. They were lured by way of the promise of some bootleg whisky, and upon entering were lined up by gang members dressed as police officers. Thompson sub-machine guns were then produced and quite a mess was apparently left following the slaughter of the North Side gang whom were all dressed in their best suits. In actuality there were found to be seventy machine gun bullets and two shell casings left from shotgun blasts. You may also remember how the incident caused Joe and Jerry to head off on the run, don some (rather convincing) drag and fall for the charms of 'Sugar Kane' Kowalczyk / Marilyn Monroe. My point is for some February 14th can sometimes not be all that peachy.

ANYWAY I can only assume that this year my postal delivery has been delayed en route to Thailand, but in its absence I was treated to a card passed on from one of friend Brad's students. I can tell you that this card neatly sums up two things: firstly this is the type of card I'd prefer to receive as opposed to poetry or cute fluffy things, and secondly as an insight into the Thai mentality when it comes to romance this is particularly accurate. Above is the front cover and below the inside. Thank you to Tharatorn Nimitmuenwai of 5/19...

...I have also added a Thai song that I always enjoy and think is probably saying something romantic. I asked my students for the meaning behind the song but they said it was difficult to explain - this may mean they do not want to explain to me. Nevertheless I am certain that in their song Mai Roo Jak Chun Mai Roo Tak Tur the vocalists Da and Pop are in love for all of the right reasons. And if not, at least they have sweet voices to express their pain.

Comments? Questions? Class you may be excused.

Homework: Eat some heart for dinner.

x Teacher

Post-It Note - Social Update

Students,

As January ends and the long cold winter months continue (or hot and sticky and sweat-inducing months as my case may be) I feel it apt to briefly detail my comings and goings in/around the year so far with a mini(ish!) post. You will see I am labeling these as ‘Post-It Note’s’. They should hopefully go some way to satisfy your urges for Teacher’s (pillow) talk in-between usual posts and also satisfy (read: ward-off) potential psycho-stalkers. Because we don’t need anymore of them, do we? Seems I already find myself unwittingly placed in the crosshairs whenever I venture into Lopburi with my irresistible foreign companions… but that’s another matter for another blog. What I’m really saying is come here often dear students for you will find regular stimulation on this page.

· Working 9 to 5 (what a way to make a living.) All’s (s)well with my university teaching as the semester rushes to its end. No sooner had Christmas and New Year been and gone than Chinese New Year and the final exams are almost upon us. I teach six English major subjects at the local university in Reading, Writing, Creative Writing, Speaking, Hotel English, and Human Behaviour and Self-Development (read: psychology.) I enjoy the teaching immensely and the students are excellent at English (two girls are even attempting to teach me Thai!) but there is an odd paradigm when compared with my previous work teaching younger kids. Where with that I was doing conversational English to classes of 40+ five times a day and so leaving exhausted after using A LOT of energy for classroom teaching, at the university I have smaller classes but the lessons must be more involved and carefully structured in order to work. I spend A LOT of time in preparation for each two and a half hour class of the six majors. Then I have to mark homework. The teaching is the easy bit. There was an opportunity on the horizon for next semester beginning June that could have taken me back to my former school. If they decide on an agreeable salary for me I may be back there with the kids and old cronies again. If the money is right. Some might call this selling out; I call it working one’s way up to be the top. And that’s always my preferred position. As ever I will keep you posted.
· Settling down. It is almost official: Brad and I are moving in together along with Natalie. We haven’t named the date yet but house-hunting is beginning this Saturday. My (unofficial) husband and I have been living in sin for a little while now and sinners do need to stick together. Sadly in Thailand we cannot leaf through the housing pages to find the perfect shack to shack up in so we must accompany a Thai teacher around the town in search of our manse… We plan to do this while decorated in white khakis/leather trousers, pink berets, and pullovers draped over the shoulders or tied loosely around the waist. To this end we have also been practicing our flouncing and over-enthusiastic hand gesturing. It has already been decided that ‘The Pleasuredome’ (as Natalie calls it) will require a garden/yard/balcony, a guest room/sauna room/back room, a collection of kitsch dog statues, and adequate security (intercom/moat/razor wire) to deter the increasingly ardent psycho-stalkers that, as mentioned earlier, our group tends to inspire (“I love pig.”)
· The case of the ‘Single White Female.’ Unfortunately I find it my duty to make a public service announcement. The bizarrely aggressive behaviour of several Thai males appears to have rubbed off on one of ‘us.’ Said lady has taken to attempts to hoard to herself any gay men (well, let’s face it any men) that she comes into contact with. ‘Single White Female’ will attack with questions on the whereabouts of her prey and demand to know why they did not first think to call and inform her if they were I dunno, venturing to the loo or some such activity… The slightly shall we say ‘unimpressed’ undercurrent of tone to this note is owing to her perpetrating a quite unforgivable transgression on your innocent Teacher: only marginally worse than ‘cock-teasing’ is ‘cock-blocking.’ Allow me to explain. On a recent visit to her workplace Teacher was struck by an attractive Thai gent of similar persuasion to he. In accordance, flirty banter was exchanged before ‘SWF’ unceremoniously (and quite deliberately) lodged her butt and her breasts in the way so that the pretty gay men would be kept safely as her own. It is in the interests of local health and wellbeing that – like a volatile chemical – ‘SWF’ be handled very carefully and preferably held at a safe distance lest she spontaneously combust (or miraculously mutate and develop a more likeable personality.)
· Out and about. In the aforementioned Human Behaviour and Self-Development (read: psychology) class this week our topic was ‘Sexuality.’ I had been delaying coverage of this particular topic for some time and had even brought forward the class on ‘Christianity’ as avoidance (!). However it could be avoided no longer. So as to initiate a less academic and more personal discussion, I thought it best to ‘out’ myself to the ten girls of the class and then they could get answers on any gay-related questions they had ‘from the horse’s mouth’ so to speak. This ‘outing’ was my first in some time and I think was largely successful, though it must be said that exclamations of “A lie wa?” (English: “What the f*ck?”) were heard from most of the girls for some minutes after my announcement. Among the (invited) questions they asked me were “Teacher, because of God are you going to Hell?”, “Have you ever sexed a ladyboy?”, and “What is a gay king and queen?” This latter question, which I suspect was posed to make me squirm (more) I found could only be answered by pointing the index finger of my right hand, forming a ‘hole’ shape with the thumb and forefinger of my left, and stabbing the ‘king’ into the hole of the ‘queen’. Sometimes I think that for a youth that enjoys so much sex, young Thais seem not to know all that much. For example who didn’t know that Ricky Martin was gay??!! Next week I will be accompanying a group including that same class of students on a field trip to a town in Northern Thailand. I can’t seem to pronounce the name of this town to the Thais approval, much less write it, but I would guess it’s spelling to be something like Loei. Thankfully I have been granted a single hotel room separate from the two gay teachers who seemed so oddly eager to bunk with me, and perhaps the trip will allow my students to properly carry-out the homework from their ‘Sexuality’ class: find Teacher a boyfriend. Kidding… (Half kidding.)
· Hello? Is anybody there? Friends are like bats. Sometimes you see them flying at you and can choose whether to continue and deal with them or duck for cover and hide. Sometimes you only notice them when they smack right into you, attach themselves with their sticky wings, and then have to be forcibly extricated from your person. They also have a tendency to only come out at night, hang upside down, and occasionally, turn nasty and try to suck blood from your jugular. In most cases though they are still around but you don’t hear from them for ages until an outbreak seems to occur and you can’t even go to 7/11 without being plagued by them. Students, the point is that one’s faithful friends appear to have gone into hiding somewhere and it is time to raise my voice to a few notables in order that their sensory hearing might pick me up and get back to me:

Steve – Thank you for your e-mail but tell me more about your theatre world in the ‘burgh.
Rosie – I miss your Grace Adler stylings and long for another night in Soho partying with Matt’s sticky dildo.
Zoé – Sorry I was basically asleep when you called. Nevertheless I find the Supernatural date tremendously exciting and demand to be the first person called on your return from LA.
Ria – I hope you are enjoying London. I hear it's pretty Welsh?
Tamsin – I hope you are not having any ‘mental episode’s’ without your teaching partner at your side. And what are you ‘expecting’?

Comments? Questions? Class you may be excused.

Homework: Catch a falling star and put it in your pocket... Supoib.

x Teacher

Post-It Note - The Talented Mr. Craig

Students, I won't keep you a moment...

It seems I am about to advertise again, but this mini post is heartfelt. You see I have long been an admirer of Daniel Craig. I would go so far as to say that I believe him the epitome of English masculinity and style in the noughties. He is one hell of a good actor and one hell of a good James Bond. He is also one hell of a good-looking man. Enough hell's for you?

Now that the title of Bond film 22 has been revealed today as Quantum of Solace I take the opportunity to say "Mr. Craig I salute you sir."

Comments? Questions? Class you may be excused.

Homework: Join me in stroking Mr. Craig's ego. And other things should our paths ever cross and he allow it (kidding... a little.)

x Teacher

Post-It Note - 'Life is a tragedy for those who feel and a comedy for those who think.'