Students,
Continuing a spell of creative writing, Teacher has embarked on a project to pen a one-act play. The drama may be submitted to Bangkok Community Theatre's one-act festival if, when drafted a few times, it does not suck. Otherwise the exercise will have just been an interesting problem-solving task.
A one-act play is usually 25 minutes on a single stage set. My original idea was for an innocent conversation between two people which then took a sinister turn and quickly became heated and desperate. The idea evolved from date gone wrong to taxi ride gone wrong to couple meet in Bangkok club (this will also go wrong.) The scenario means I can play with sound and create tension by having a disco beat as constant background. There could also be a lowered lighting state and minor characters around to interrupt the main action / represent the mood.
The script is provisionally titled Feeding Time and its characters are Joe, a mysterious twentysomething who may or may not have ulterior motives for talking to Jess, a 25 year-old English woman who has just moved to Thailand and doesn't even realise how vulnerable that makes her. Below you will find a script extract at a point where the characters step out onto the club balcony for a smoke. This is the first point that Jess notices Joe might be somewhat good-looking. Please read and (kindly) critique if you wish.
Comments? Questions? Class you may be excused.
Homework: Learn your lines.
x Teacher
Continuing a spell of creative writing, Teacher has embarked on a project to pen a one-act play. The drama may be submitted to Bangkok Community Theatre's one-act festival if, when drafted a few times, it does not suck. Otherwise the exercise will have just been an interesting problem-solving task.
A one-act play is usually 25 minutes on a single stage set. My original idea was for an innocent conversation between two people which then took a sinister turn and quickly became heated and desperate. The idea evolved from date gone wrong to taxi ride gone wrong to couple meet in Bangkok club (this will also go wrong.) The scenario means I can play with sound and create tension by having a disco beat as constant background. There could also be a lowered lighting state and minor characters around to interrupt the main action / represent the mood.
The script is provisionally titled Feeding Time and its characters are Joe, a mysterious twentysomething who may or may not have ulterior motives for talking to Jess, a 25 year-old English woman who has just moved to Thailand and doesn't even realise how vulnerable that makes her. Below you will find a script extract at a point where the characters step out onto the club balcony for a smoke. This is the first point that Jess notices Joe might be somewhat good-looking. Please read and (kindly) critique if you wish.
Comments? Questions? Class you may be excused.
Homework: Learn your lines.
x Teacher
JOE
Those things will kill you. You know?
(JOE motions to JESS’ cigarette then points at the gruesome picture on the packet.)
JESS
So will a lot of things. What’s your name?
(JESS hands him back his cigar. JOE hands her back her cigarette, waggles the cigar between his teeth, and raises his eyebrows.)
JOE
Hmm. That’s forward. And I believe you’re following polite conversation rules all of a sudden. Living a little?
JESS
Well if the alternative is being killed…
JOE
Ok. But you first lady.
Those things will kill you. You know?
(JOE motions to JESS’ cigarette then points at the gruesome picture on the packet.)
JESS
So will a lot of things. What’s your name?
(JESS hands him back his cigar. JOE hands her back her cigarette, waggles the cigar between his teeth, and raises his eyebrows.)
JOE
Hmm. That’s forward. And I believe you’re following polite conversation rules all of a sudden. Living a little?
JESS
Well if the alternative is being killed…
JOE
Ok. But you first lady.
Ladies should always go first.
I hear that’s like the number 1 rule of chivalry.
JESS
It’s Jess.
JOE
A-ha. I’m…
(Suddenly the clubgoers behind them start screaming orgasmically over and over as representation of JESS’s sexualised thoughts. We do not hear JOE say his name and clearly neither does JESS. She nods and pretends to however.)
…Welcome to Bangkok.
(The clubgoers stop and return to dancing normally.)
JESS
Sorry?
JOE
I said ‘Welcome to Bangkok.’
(A spilt-second break in the music before the beat resumes.)
JESS
How do you know that I’m new here?
JOE
Haven’t seen you before.
JESS
Is this the only club in Bangkok?
JOE
Nope.
JESS
And do you know every area of the city and who lives there?
JOE
Nope.
JESS
Then how could you know I’m new here?
JOE
Let’s just say your first impressions gave you away.
JESS
What do you mean?
JOE
Oh I don’t know. The pasty face and sunburned forearms…
The ‘trying too hard to look relaxed’ casual wear…
You’re perspiring quite heavily which suggests you’re not used to the heat…
And you asked the waiter for no ice because you haven’t got over your paranoia about the drinking water yet. What? You look freaked out.
JESS
Uh-huh.
JOE
Why? I’m observant that’s all. Maybe you’re not observant enough.
JESS
How would you know?
JOE
Just sayin’
JESS
I’d say I’m pretty observant.
For instance: You have that shaved head and facial stubble that guys have if they want a rugged look.
But you’re not quite so carefree. That shirt is a label and those jeans were not cheap. Designer underwear no doubt, possibly a shaved chest, and certainly more products in his bathroom cabinet than a tourist like me.
JOE
Well now you’re just generalizing.
JESS
No, I’m not.
JOE
Yes you are. It’s not observant to describe a ‘type’.
You want to see my underwear?
(JOE undoes the top button of his trousers to show a glimpse.)
JESS
You show me yours… (JESS moves to take a look.)
…You’re not wearing any!
(JOE steps away.)
JOE
Really? Where’d they go? (JOE puffs on his cigar.)
…What do you deduct from your observation then?
JESS (Thinking.)
…That you’re cocky.
I hear that’s like the number 1 rule of chivalry.
JESS
It’s Jess.
JOE
A-ha. I’m…
(Suddenly the clubgoers behind them start screaming orgasmically over and over as representation of JESS’s sexualised thoughts. We do not hear JOE say his name and clearly neither does JESS. She nods and pretends to however.)
…Welcome to Bangkok.
(The clubgoers stop and return to dancing normally.)
JESS
Sorry?
JOE
I said ‘Welcome to Bangkok.’
(A spilt-second break in the music before the beat resumes.)
JESS
How do you know that I’m new here?
JOE
Haven’t seen you before.
JESS
Is this the only club in Bangkok?
JOE
Nope.
JESS
And do you know every area of the city and who lives there?
JOE
Nope.
JESS
Then how could you know I’m new here?
JOE
Let’s just say your first impressions gave you away.
JESS
What do you mean?
JOE
Oh I don’t know. The pasty face and sunburned forearms…
The ‘trying too hard to look relaxed’ casual wear…
You’re perspiring quite heavily which suggests you’re not used to the heat…
And you asked the waiter for no ice because you haven’t got over your paranoia about the drinking water yet. What? You look freaked out.
JESS
Uh-huh.
JOE
Why? I’m observant that’s all. Maybe you’re not observant enough.
JESS
How would you know?
JOE
Just sayin’
JESS
I’d say I’m pretty observant.
For instance: You have that shaved head and facial stubble that guys have if they want a rugged look.
But you’re not quite so carefree. That shirt is a label and those jeans were not cheap. Designer underwear no doubt, possibly a shaved chest, and certainly more products in his bathroom cabinet than a tourist like me.
JOE
Well now you’re just generalizing.
JESS
No, I’m not.
JOE
Yes you are. It’s not observant to describe a ‘type’.
You want to see my underwear?
(JOE undoes the top button of his trousers to show a glimpse.)
JESS
You show me yours… (JESS moves to take a look.)
…You’re not wearing any!
(JOE steps away.)
JOE
Really? Where’d they go? (JOE puffs on his cigar.)
…What do you deduct from your observation then?
JESS (Thinking.)
…That you’re cocky.
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